we have the friendliest accommodations in town

The most spacious, too.

So friends and family, if you ever want to visit us here in this fair suburban city, don't for a second entertain the notion of staying in a hotel.

There's no reason you can't bunk with us, and it doesn't necessarily mean you'll spend a miserable night on a rump-sprung sofa covered in cat fur.

Here at the Rogers Manor, we have two full-sized guest rooms. One is decorated in the style of a 4-year-old boy. But I guess we goofed somewhere, because no 4-year-old boy has ever expressed a desire to sleep there.

The second caters to the needs and comforts of distinguished canines. A futon sofa can comfortably sleep two large hounds.

But again, we must not have gotten something right because the only time any dogs seem to be in there is when they're in time out.

Meanwhile, our own sleeping quarters look something like the photo below.

Logan's not in there to tell us goodnight before retreating to his own room. Instead, he's about to climb in.

Once everyone's in position, I'll stake out a few inches for myself.

Thanks to the Ambien I guzzle about a half-hour before hitting what little amount of sack remains, I still manage to sleep like a baby.

But when I do wake up, it's sometimes with a start when I discover a paw, tail, child's toy or human limb draped across my face.

Nighty night.