Neen's birthday was a gas

After another 10 hours in the minivan, we made it to Ingleside. This time, Aunt Barb was with us.

Adult conversation was so much more enjoyable than the looping of "Mickey's Silly Songs" that burned my ears during the first half of the drive.

Neen's 83rd birthday party was a gas, literally. Logan broke out his fart machine, much to the dismay of some of his elders.

He wasted no time demonstrating to Neenie and the other guests the full cadence of farts it produces.

My stepdad, George, later wanted to know where Logan got the device.

I got the impression that he was asking more out of a need to reprimand the responsible party than a desire to obtain a fart machine of his own.

Either way, I'm not saying a word.

donkeying around

We made it to Omaha, TX on Wednesday, the first stop on our road trip. It took about 10 hours to get to my aunt and uncle's house, and boy, were we whipped.

My Uncle Mike raises donkeys and we spent lots of time with them during our two days there.

Uncle Mike kept telling me that one of the miniatures would easily fit in the back of the minivan on our return trip to Missouri. Think Todd would notice?

water...water...

Like a thirsty transient who crawls toward a pond, on Wednesday I'll slowly make my way to Texas in Silver the Trusty Minivan with a goal in mind such as not to get robbed, raped, maimed, shot, stabbed or otherwise left for dead along the interstate.

Yes, I'm going to see my family, but there's another objective of this trip:

In my carnivorous opinion, these are the best burgers on the planet. The patties are large and drenched in grease, the buns are just the right ratio of soft and crispy, and even the ketchup seems superior to the lowly versions served at other burger joints.

When I lived in the Corpus Christi area, there were many times that I went to Whataburger twice in one day for a fix. And I had the butt and thighs to prove it.

As a kid, the name of the place confused me. I thought it was Water Burger.

One afternoon, my cousin Julia and I were seated at the kitchen table at Neenie and Pa-pa's house. We merrily poured our glasses of water onto some home-cooked hamburgers to create "water burgers."

I imagine Neen took the switch to us when she walked in and saw the mess we had made.

model's wages

My dear friend Shannon just had a baby boy. I'm making her some bibs as part of her baby gift.

After I finished the first one, I needed a male model. Unfortunately, the only one I could find demanded candy as his payment.

"I not a baby," he said once I got the bib on him.

Doesn't he look thrilled? And he wasn't too impressed with the candy, either. It was left over from Halloween and probably a little stale.

another inexpensive craft

Cheap is my middle name this week.

Check out these bowls I made from old records - another thrift shop score. They were 20 cents each, and I just put them in the oven on top of an upside-down bowl until they started to melt. The picture's a little blurry because my camera's on the blink.

These will be gifts for some of my Texas relatives. George, that's your Johnny Rodriguez candy bowl on the left.

sewing on the cheap

I've been sewing a lot lately. Just call me Susie Homemaker.

Check out this skirt that I made with a twin-sized sheet that I picked up for 75 cents at our local thrift shop. I used this tutorial and it took me about 30 minutes.

Try not to get distracted by my fine-looking legs. I didn't do a very good job this morning with my tan-in-a-can.

getting ready for a road trip

Logan and I are planning a trip to Texas at the end of this month. No sweat; we've done it several times.

Only difference is that this time, we're driving. Alone.

I was full of bravado when I first made these plans. After all, I used to drive home alone from college all the time, accompanied only by a feline companion who slept in the back window most of the way.

That was a seven-hour trip. Sure it wasn't as long of a jaunt, but I was much younger and had less driving experience.

Or so I've been telling myself.

This trip will be 17 hours, nine of which will be on my own. We're going to pick up Aunt Barb in East Texas, and she'll make the rest of the trip with us.

It's that initial stretch between my house and hers that is starting to get me a little worried. But it'll be fine, I'm sure.

By the way, that's not my car in the above photo. I'd never use duct tape to secure an item to the roof of my vehicle. Packing tape is better and much less expensive.

holiday weekend

We went to my dad's for the 4th of July where we ate barbecue and popped off fireworks. Everyone's limbs are intact and there were no mad dashes to the emergency room, so it was a good time.

Logan liked these smoke bombs but wasn't so wild about the loud ones. He was unimpressed with the "grand finale" Todd and the neighbors staged later with all the leftover fireworks.

funny stuff, yo

Remember Showbiz Pizza? Ever wonder what happened to the robotic characters who sang and danced on the stage? Apparently, they've got a new gig. Click here to watch. Just don't crank 'dem speakers up too loud if you're at work, homie.

ASPCA, you've got a new client...

Tilly probably wishes we'd return her to the racetrack. She has to work way too hard around here.

Saying goodbye...or not

I have a hard time parting with things, especially when they once belonged to family members who have gone on to reap their heavenly rewards.

Just ask my husband. He's been cursing this monstrosity for a couple of years because it takes up his valuable garage space. I don't know what I'll eventually do with it, but it definitely doesn't involve the one-way trip to Goodwill that some less-sentimental souls have suggested.

I wish I could say my collection was just limited to the car, but one look at my basement would blow my cover. It houses a slew of items that I just don't know what to do with.

Here's an example.

I have a bag of musty old fabric that I took about 10 years ago when my grandma died. Grandpa was going to throw it away or donate it or something. Since then, it's been stored in various attics of the places we've lived before coming to rest in the basement of our current home.

Mostly, the bag contains polyester. Grandma was probably going to turn it into some pants.

But there's hope that it might slowly leave my basement in a more dignified manner than the back of the garbage truck. I found a really neat website full of easy crafts and simple instructions.

I've spent the last two days turning the red polyester into these:

I've got at least eight yards of this stuff. So family, like it or not, you'll be getting an eyeglass case. If you don't wear glasses (which I'm pretty sure excludes most Donaghues), you'll have to find another use for it. Might work as a cover for your butcher knife or a tail-warmer for a dog or something.