Musings from the Mama Bear

moving day

2009-01-17T12:01:00.004-06:00

Mama's packing up the moving truck and hauling her cookies to a new blog site. It's musingsfromthemamabear.wordpress.com.

I have a few formatting issues with blogger, mainly the spacing between paragraphs. Sometimes it works, but most of the time it doesn't.

Not such a big deal unless you're a tightly wired nutcase like me. I'm one step away from the straightjacket after every post.

So please reset that bookmark, then pop in and drop me a line.

a simple math lesson

2009-01-15T13:55:00.005-06:00

This:Plus this:

Equals way too much of this:

Or sometimes even this:

Please, spring, don't take too long to get here.

some new duds

2009-01-14T07:52:00.002-06:00

Here's Logan in a new outfit I just finished. The shirt is store-bought with an appliqued starfish on it.

I can say with certainty that applique is not my bag.

The pants have a little more detail than the picture shows. There's a yellow waistband and lining in the pockets.

The biggest challenge was matching the plaid pattern along the seams.

By the way, he's perfecting his self-proclaimed mean look in this picture.

And Tilly? She's finishing his breakfast.

tick, tick, tick

2009-01-14T07:43:00.003-06:00

So we got an unexpected reprieve Monday afternoon at the vet's office.

And by unexpected, I mean I had scoured the upstairs of our house of all traces of cat before we left.

I washed and put away the food bowl and made sure his favorite toy was out of sight. It would be too sad to see when I walked back in later without him.

His doctor didn't think he was suffering, and that was a relief.

But this morning, when I fed him, his hind legs went out from behind him, leaving him splayed on the floor. I helped him back up and he finished his breakfast.

We're on borrowed time, but I'll take it.

sadness

2009-01-12T13:06:00.007-06:00

Kasey has continued to deteriorate.

His back legs are getting so weak that when he stands, he struggles to keep his balance.

And for several days, he's spent most of his time hiding underneath the couch.

We have a vet appointment today at 3:45.

I knew this day was coming but that doesn't make it suck any less or help me not to feel like a total piece of shit.

Those of you who are pet lovers can surely understand.

ETA: I didn't have to put him down after all. My wallet's a little lighter, but so is my heart.

we have the friendliest accommodations in town

2009-01-06T20:10:00.015-06:00

The most spacious, too.

So friends and family, if you ever want to visit us here in this fair suburban city, don't for a second entertain the notion of staying in a hotel.

There's no reason you can't bunk with us, and it doesn't necessarily mean you'll spend a miserable night on a rump-sprung sofa covered in cat fur.

Here at the Rogers Manor, we have two full-sized guest rooms. One is decorated in the style of a 4-year-old boy. But I guess we goofed somewhere, because no 4-year-old boy has ever expressed a desire to sleep there.

The second caters to the needs and comforts of distinguished canines. A futon sofa can comfortably sleep two large hounds.

But again, we must not have gotten something right because the only time any dogs seem to be in there is when they're in time out.

Meanwhile, our own sleeping quarters look something like the photo below.

Logan's not in there to tell us goodnight before retreating to his own room. Instead, he's about to climb in.

Once everyone's in position, I'll stake out a few inches for myself.

Thanks to the Ambien I guzzle about a half-hour before hitting what little amount of sack remains, I still manage to sleep like a baby.

But when I do wake up, it's sometimes with a start when I discover a paw, tail, child's toy or human limb draped across my face.

Nighty night.

dear mr. trash collector...

2009-01-05T20:47:00.007-06:00

...I need to apologize. Early one recent morning, you were treated to an unsavory view as I beat a hasty retreat from the curb where I had just deposited our trashcan.

Unfortunately, instead of seeing my jeans through the gaping hole in my pajama pants, you were unwillingly subjected to a view of my jiggly posterior.

By the way, those dingy white drawers of which you caught more than a subtle glimpse were vintage. I've had them since at least 1995. Mama does love her antiques.

But there's no need to turn in your notice for fear of a future encounter with the ripped pants. That is, unless you take a peak in our can during this week's pickup.

Warmest regards,
The Mama Bear

because my family's sick of looking at all the crap i sew...

2009-01-04T17:11:00.004-06:00

Here are some goodies I made for a friend's baby shower.

It was fun to sew for a little girl. So much fun that seriously, folks, I need one of you to pop another one out pretty soon so I can whip up more of this stuff.
I'm itching to make another pair of these cloth shoes (but not so much that I'm willing to produce another kid of my own to put them on).

a few additions to the banned words list

2009-01-01T20:28:00.016-06:00

I always look forward to the release of Lake Superior State University's annual banished words list.

That's because since I was a kid, I've had a love-hate relationship with words. Back then, I remember such innocent-sounding terms as "nostril" sending me into a teeth-gnashing rage. ("Gnash" would've had the same effect).

No particular reason; I just thought certain words sounded stupid. It was probably just a foreshadowing of my eventual persnickety temperament.

Growing up in Texas, a word often fell into disfavor after I heard it pronounced with an exaggerated southern drawl.

Did I feed the dawg today? Go the beach and pick up shayells? Want something to draynk?

Sometimes, the words spoken by a fellow Texan would sound so garbled that I'd have to ask the speaker to repeat them. For a tightly wired type-A personality like me, it was irritating.

So even though it doesn't address pronunciation, the LSSU's word-banishing list is completely up my alley. It always gets me thinking about words and phrases - as well as grammatical and punctuation liberties - that raise my hackles.

Here are a few additional picks from the Mama Bear.

Discombobulated. This word falls into my "sounds stupid" category. It drudges up visions that include dismemberment or taking a dump.

Making. A. Point. By. Separating. Words. With. Periods. Clever the first few times I saw it but tiresome and irritating now.

OMG makes the list, too. It's the middle school teacher in me, I suppose.

Fricking, as well as its inbred cousin, Freaking. If you're going to use the "f" word, might as well go for the gold.

What about you? Are you as anal as me? Any words or phrases you'd like to see take their leave?

Hmm...anal. Add that to my list.

this 'n that

2008-12-30T20:16:00.008-06:00

Christmas has officially taken its leave from our house.

Actually, it was gone by the 26th when I hauled the tree down to the basement. That's how I roll...once the day's over, I like to quickly clear out the evidence.

Here are some random shots from Christmas '08.

Logan put out reindeer food on Christmas Eve. After about two tosses of the oats and glitter, he ran for the house. I don't blame him; it was cold out there.

Here he is with this year's haul.

Todd had great fun putting together this toy garage. He was brandishing a screwdriver and spewing profanity when I went to bed.

We went to cousin Carie's house on Christmas day. Here's Dad with Mr. Nibbles, the resident bird.

Nibbles has got to be the sweetest avian specimen I've ever met. I think he should come live at my house. Maybe Carie would like to trade Nibbles for the beautiful and charming Bud Bird.

Todd and Chino are craning their necks to catch some sort of educational programing on TV. I think it was a monster truck rally.

Here's what Santa brought me. It's sort of like a compadre for my regular sewing machine and means I don't have to zig-zag my seams to finish them.

After staring at the box for several days, I finally learned how to use it and made Mom these pajamas for her upcoming birthday. But I don't think they'll fit her so I might have to keep them for myself. Darn.

the christmas play

2008-12-25T09:56:00.003-06:00

Logan's acting debut was a huge success last Sunday during our church's Christmas play.

He was incredibly convincing in his role as a shepherd. It's obvious from the photo that he got into character, delivering a convincing portrayal of a reaction to the angel's proclaimation of Christ's birth.

Naw, just kidding. He's actually reaching out and tearfully saying "Mama."

building a bear

2008-12-23T15:35:00.011-06:00

I have a knack for acquiring items based purely on my exaggerated sentimental nature. Quite often, they're objects for which I have absolutely no use or need.

Such was the case with Grandpa's jacket. It's one of three jackets I ended up with after he died.

It's been hanging in the closet for a couple of years now. And around here, closet space is minimal.

So last night, I got out the scissors. Now, the jacket looks like this.

The brown material was the outside of the jacket and the plaid was the lining. The buttons were on the pocket.

The tag on the inside indicated that Grandpa liked to shop at Sears. I put it on the bear's behind.

I have another one of Grandpa's items, too. Any idea what I can turn this into? My husband would say scrap metal.

How long is too long?

2008-12-19T22:38:00.007-06:00

This is Kasey. He's 16 years old and nearing the end of his nine lives.

For the most part, he gets around alright. Still purrs and craves our attention.

But he's got some medical problems that can't be fixed. The writing's on the wall that his days are extremely numbered. He declines visibly each week.

I've drawn a mental line in the sand about how far I'll allow him to deteriorate before taking him in for that final vet visit.

If he shows signs of obvious pain and distress, it's a given. If he starts using the upstairs as his personal toilet, something will have to be done.

At first, it was easy to be ojective about the notion that we'd have to intervene. But as the inevitable inches closer, that's becoming more difficult. My fear is that I'll let things get too far gone before I can muster up the courage to do it.

That's because Kasey and I go way back. I knew him long before my husband, son, and many of my friends.

I got him from some drug dealers while I was still in college. It wasn't part of a transaction; I wasn't affiliated with them.

A friend in one of my classes knew they were trying to get rid of a cat and since I've always been partial to Siameses, she gave them my number.

When I drove over to check him out, I first took in the large supply of their merchandise on full display in their kitchen. They took me to a back bedroom and opened a dark closet door to let Kasey out.

That's where they'd been keeping him; they didn't want their landlord to know they had a cat (I thought later that it was ironic they were more concerned about hiding the cat than their drug supply).

Inside the closet, Kasey had a bowl full of large-breed dog food and no water or litter box.

I picked him up and his feet never again touched the floor of that nasty apartment. He's been with me ever since, a loyal friend.

so terribly sad

2008-12-18T21:50:00.005-06:00

I found a heartbreaking link to a story today on another blog I frequent.

It's about a family who lost their baby to cancer. Now, they've discovered their newborn has a brain tumor as well as one on her spine.

Reminds me that I have a lot for which to be thankful.

You can read their story and offer well wishes and prayers here.

an only child's quest for entertainment

2008-12-17T06:48:00.005-06:00

Logan's gotten the short end of the stick with this icy weather.

We've been housebound for a couple of days and I've used that time to try and finish my Christmas sewing. So he's had to come up with creative ways to occupy his time.

Yesterday, he constructed an obstacle course for our dog. The highlight was a high-jump made from bungee cords he drug up from the basement.

Augie's tired of being inside, too. So he had no trouble playing along.

That's the bird cage on the left. Bud was thrilled to be part of the event staff. His neck's probably sore this morning from repeatedly trying to get his head through the bars to bite the dog.

They both crashed like a ton of bricks at nap time. I guess that for Logan, a four-legged sibling is better than none.

sure, it might get a mite lonely around here...

2008-12-15T12:42:00.007-06:00

...with hubby away this week on a business trip.

But there's one thing I won't miss.

Here's a chronological account of the first four days last week...

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

The sight of his dirty skivvies in the hallway burns my retinas every morning. I need to think up a clever solution. Maybe I'll hang them on the coach lights or from the mailbox. Or I'll wrap them up and give them to him for Christmas.

man, they hack me off

2008-12-14T17:49:00.005-06:00

My family is on my last nerve today. I feel like just grabbing a belt and swinging at butts.

This morning while I was out, Logan brought up every toy he owns from the basement. He has a sizeable collection upstairs as well. All are now on display in a heap on the living room floor and in the hallway.

Then, hubby gave him my cell phone and taught him to call our home phone. He's done this no fewer than 25 times today. Once the answering machine picked up, he screamed every profane word he knew.

"Butt, wee-wee, poop, pee, toot," he shrieked.

Then, he dragged the newly reupholstered kitchen chair to the counter so he could stand on it in his filthy shoes, reach the answering machine and replay the barrel-in-the-mouth-invoking chorus over and over.

Hubby hasn't been bothered. That's because he's spent most of the day tucked comfortably into bed. That's a whole 'nother post. Grrr.

Christmas crunch time

2008-12-13T18:56:00.006-06:00

I'm spending the weekend finishing up some last-minute Christmas gifts.

Bud enjoys it, and so do I - at least until he poops on my back.

Gosh, I have a bony neck. Is that normal? It looks more like a bird neck than Bud's. Wish my butt and thighs were that bony.

a little peace and quiet

2008-12-12T11:55:00.003-06:00

Dad has taken Logan for the day so I'm enjoying some time to myself.

It's refreshing to have a break from the usual Sponge Bob marathon. Instead, the TV is tuned to some quality programming.

On another note, my hopes were dashed that the Minnie Mouse theme of the doo-rag I made at my dad's request would deter him from sporting it. No such luck. He swiftly placed it on his dome, then put the pleather version on Logan.

Have a great day and steer clear of trash TV.

last-minute gift ideas

2008-12-11T08:57:00.013-06:00

Holiday shopping can be a drag. The pressure's on to find that perfect gift that will convey love and appreciation to the recipient.

If you've found yourself in a gift-giving quandary, here are some suggestions to quell the angst. All have been tested in my home.

Gift idea #1: The fart machine.

Our model produces a cadence of 15 toots. Comes with a convenient remote control for long-range gags.

It's brought about hours of family fun for us (and dread amongst my relatives who are on edge at the prospect that I might gift one of their children with it).

Gift idea #2: A kind, loving pet. This is always a good option.

Not sure about size or breed? My advice is that bigger is always better.

And try to retain an element of surprise for the recipient. Don't drop hints; just show up with that incontinent great dane.

Gift idea #3: A useful household item.

Would you rather err on the side of practicality? Try something like the item in the above photo.

No need to wrap; it's already attractively packaged. Add a bow for maximum effect.

Gift idea #4: A distinguished piece of glassware.

To me, refined slogans such as the above add an element of class that elevates the item to heirloom quality.

Gift idea #5: A figure-flattering garment that bears a personal slogan.

This is a thoughtful choice when you tailor it to the interest of the recipient. "Alcoholics Anonymous worked for me" or "Chillin' Like a Villain at Alcatraz" will evoke such fond feelings each time the recipient pulls them out of a clothes hamper for one more wearing.

Thrift stores offer a plethora of options. Or, you can just plow through your own dresser drawers and scrounge up a suitable shirt.

I ordered my little brother a couple of t-shirts for his Christmas gift. They arrived today, one bearing the word "Mexico" beneath a large donkey sillhouette.

I failed to notice when ordering that the donkey's nether-regions are greatly emphasized. Oh well, it'll give little brother another option when he's choosing something to wear for church or a job interview.

Gift idea #6: Let yourself be the gift.

If you don't feel like coughing up the coin this year, simply attend the family festivities with a pleasant disposition such as the one radiating from Todd in the above photo.

You might need some assistance to muster this up before facing your family. If so, try hitting the sauce the night before, then getting up early the next day to shovel snow while your head pounds through your ears.

Upon arrival, immediately guzzle down the hair of the dog that bit you. Then, sit back and watch your family delight in your cheerful presence.

That's what Todd did. Aren't the results heartwarming?

tom, part II

2008-12-10T07:24:00.006-06:00

Tom, our magical Christmas elf, continues to earn his keep.

Last night, we went to the elementary school Christmas party. In keeping with tradition, Logan refused to sit on Santa's lap for a picture.

I warned him that Tom was peeking in the window to monitor his behavior. He opened the window and investigated just long enough to receive a reprimand from one of the teachers.

A bit of history...photos with costumed characters have largely been unsuccessful in our family. Here's last spring's Easter bunny shot. The only reason he agreed to at least touch its fur is because I told him that otherwise, he wouldn't get a fart machine in his Easter basket.

But last night, the fear of Tom's presence got him up on Santa's lap.

According to the book, Tom's supposed to disappear on Christmas Eve when he goes back to the North Pole with Santa. But Logan's birthday's in February. Maybe I could come up with a different character to serve the same purpose. Any ideas?

a Christmas visitor

2008-12-07T08:01:00.004-06:00

Meet Tom.

He's taking a long vacation at our house and will be here through Christmas Eve (yeah, I know the cat lamp looks a little creepy in the photo).

Tom is part of the Elf on the Shelf gift set. He came with a book that explains his job, which is to report each night to Santa the behavior of the child who resides under our roof.

His book explains there are certain rules necessary for him to work properly. Most importantly, no one can touch him or he'll lose his magic.

Each morning, we go on a search for Tom to find where he landed after delivering the previous night's report.

Yesterday, he was in our bedroom clinging to the cat lamp. Today, he's on the living room shelf.

Logan's behavior since Tom came to visit has been incredible.

Best $30 I ever spent.

be careful what you wish for

2008-12-06T13:29:00.004-06:00

Dad has hounded me for several years to make him a distinguished piece of headwear known as a doo-rag.

And for years, I've put him off, not wanting to contribute to his delinquency.

You see, he already has one, and it's repulsive. The red, pleather-trimmed bandana makes him look like he's ready to attend a meeting of a street gang.

But Dad showed up the other night clutching his vile doo-rag like a child with a beloved stuffed toy.

"I want you to make me one of these," he said, shoving it into my hand.

Knowing he wouldn't be put off this time, I went online and found a pattern. Then, I searched for the perfect fabric.

Remember that Minnie Mouse costume?

By the way, I had to bribe Logan with a pack of M&Ms before he'd let me take his picture modeling this silly thing.

let's play school

2008-12-06T12:46:00.014-06:00

My young scholar wanted to play school the other night.

Todd and I agreed to join in on the fun, then waited for him to assign our roles. We assumed he would take on the part of the teacher and that we'd pretend to be his students.

Instead, he walked over to the corner, and with disturbing familiarity and ease, assumed the above position.

It must be how he spends a lot of his time at preschool.

I should probably consider this to be foreshadowing of the future behavior we can expect as he embarks on his public school career.

a winner!

2008-12-04T21:47:00.008-06:00

Congrats to Joanna who said...

Worst present ever was from my old ailing great-aunt. I was 15 and she gave me a pair of toweling fabric underwear. That would have fit a 5 year old. Yeah it was pretty bad lol!!

Random.org chose her as the winner of the make-up bag, which is pictured above with an extremely cooperative male model.

Thanks to all who entered. This has been lots of fun and I loved reading your stories. Some of them made me grateful for my Top Ramen.

Merry Christmas, and please stop by my blog anytime.

a give-away!

2008-11-30T18:38:00.016-06:00

Edited to add: Oh my goodness gracious...I've been plowing through the master list of giveaways and am googly eyed after spending HOURS trying to enter everyone's contests. If I have to complete another word verification tonight, I'll tear my hair out by the roots.

I'm convinced it can't be done in a day, so I'm extending this until nighty-night time tomorrow...9-ish or so.

Meanwhile, keep the stories coming. Heidi, oh my gosh...cigs from Grandma? And Julianne, I feel your pain...my husband's done the same thing before (and let me tell you, he paid DEARLY. He's still paying, in fact).

Good luck, everyone!

One of my favorite blogs, Sew, Mama, Sew!, has organized a give-away day today. You can read about it here, but the idea is that everyone who participates gives away a homemade item to a blog reader.

There's a master list over there of participants, and if you've found me, I'm assuming they got my email.

So, welcome! Make yourself at home and please don't mind the dog fur on the sofa.

My contribution to the give-aways is this makeup bag that I whipped up over the weekend.

It's made from Amy Butler fabric and has a contrasting lining and zipper. I've made several of these in the past few weeks as Christmas gifts.

Here's how to enter.

Leave a comment by midnight CST describing the worst Christmas gift you ever received. Was it a homemade makeup bag, perhaps?

Mine, hands-down, was the industrial-sized box of Top Ramen my dad gave me when I was in college. I thought the enormous package under the tree had to contain something wonderful - a computer, perhaps, or at least a case of beer.

Fifteen years later, I still can't walk past Top Ramen in the grocery store without a slight twinge of repulsion.

Now, it's your turn to share your story. I'll randomly select a winner THURSDAY NIGHT, post the results and notify the winner. Your makeup bag will be in the mail Friday.

Unless, of course, you live nearby. If so, I'll drop it off at your house along with a kid and an animal or two.

United States entries only, please; with Christmas breathing down her neck, Mama doesn't have the coin to ship internationally. Good luck!

deck the halls

2008-11-29T10:54:00.003-06:00

We're throwing up the holiday decorations here at the Rogers Manor.

Bud's thrilled that he'll get a visit from Santa this year. He could probably use a nice, warm sweater to hide that bald belly.

Hubby was a tad reluctant to put up the Christmas lights. Last Sunday on our way back from church, I asked him when we could expect to see the display.

"I'm not putting up lights this year," he growled. "It's a pain in the butt."

Then, he scurried across the street and helped the neighbors hang their lights. I was so proud, especially as I surveyed the barren exterior of my own home and pictured myself teetering on the ladder.

Those lights were going up one way or another. I decided to call my dad and asked if he'd help me hang them.

The thought of Dad having to come over to take care of the job proved too embarrassing for Todd...just the effect for which I'd hoped.

So yesterday, without a word of protest, he got out the ladder and hung the lights.

But I'm still keeping Dad on standby after Christmas when it's time for them to come down.

my version of a thanksgiving feast

2008-11-24T13:17:00.006-06:00

We're going to Dad's for Thanksgiving. But you won't catch me getting anywhere near the turkey.

A bologna sandwich will do just fine.

That's because after partaking of some turkey leftovers from last year's Thanksgiving food-fest, I experienced a dreadful and gruesome bout of food poisoning.

The puking was so violent that at one point, I prayed for release via a sure and speedy death.

I found out later that apparently, you're not supposed to store leftover turkey on the bones the way we did. Instead, it should immediately be cut from the carcass.

Please take this lesson to heart; otherwise, you'd better add adult diapers and an extra-large barf bucket to your grocery list.

But as for me, I'm playing it safe. Just a plain bologna sandwich, please.

phoenix phamily phun

2008-11-16T19:20:00.007-06:00

Last week, we were treated to a last-minute visit from Cousin Robert.

Robert works for an airline and is often able to zip into town from his home in Phoenix. When he does, we always find something new and unusual to do.

During this visit, we went to the St. Louis City Museum and ate at the elegant Hillbilly Heaven here in the metropolis of Wright City. The fragrance of cigarette smoke from that fine establishment still lingers in the fibers of my jacket.

But the highlight of the trip was the afternoon we spent in North St. Louis taking pictures. Robert and I share a love of photography and every time we get together, the cameras come out.

Our favorite subjects are old, dilapidated buildings and there was no shortage of them that afternoon. Here are a couple of the 500 or so pictures I took.

good eatin'

2008-11-07T14:54:00.006-06:00

Augie and Tilly were treated to a full check-up today at the vet's office.

I thought they'd be excited about the break from their usual routine, but they proved me wrong. Augie whined like a newborn and Tilly shimmied out of her collar in the parking lot, then challenged me to a footrace.

Once inside, their adventure included a round of shots and what the bashful technician vaguely referred to as a rectal exam.

I felt a little guilty on the drive home and decided they deserved a treat. So I pulled off at the local meat market and asked if they had any scrap bones.

"We sell them for $3," a surly worker replied.

Seemed like a lot to pay for someone's trash, but I handed over the money. It was a rare extravagance and the dogs would probably get an hour's enjoyment out of the feast.

Several minutes later, a worker came out hefting a huge, bloody box that he flopped into the front seat of my van. Inside were the most massive bones I'd ever seen. They were dripping with scraps of flesh and utterly repulsive.

When we got home, Augie made off with something that looked like a spinal column. Tilly delicately nibbled at a pelvis.

The box was too heavy for me to lift, so I wrapped up the bones in individual packages and put them in the garage freezer.

The neighbors probably wondered what I was up to with all those large, bloody bones. Too bad Todd's not out of town for a few days; I'd like to keep them guessing.

Augie, our gentle and timid lapdog, reacts to the suggestion that he share his portion of bloody ribcage.

"This beats my usual grub," Tilly says.

settling a score

2008-11-03T11:23:00.010-06:00

I've been nagging Todd for about a month to change the burnt-out lightbulb in our garage.

Finally, I decided to clamber onto the roof of Grandpa's car and do it myself.

But after the job was done, I decided to toy with Todd a little.

After all, if I let him become too cozy with the notion that I'll take care of his unsavory chores, I might find myself hanging Christmas lights next month.

I found a template for a fake invoice. Then, I entered the information of a make-believe handyman service and printed it up.

I then stuck it in the folder with the rest of the bills.

He's going to be steamed when he thinks this is what I had to resort to in order to get that lightbulb changed. It's about a week's worth of his beer money, after all.

I can't wait.

rodents on parade

2008-10-29T08:08:00.005-05:00

On Sunday, we participated in Warrenton's Pet and People Parade. It was a great time and we won a whopping second place prize of $15 for our costumes.

Just think...if I could find about seven more contests for us to enter and win, I could recoup what the materials cost for these outfits.

Logan was excited to dress up and insisted on being addressed only as Mickey while he was in costume.

But when we got in the van to head over to the parade, he realized there was a drawback to dressing as his favorite rodent.

"I CAN'T SUCK MY THUMB!" he yelled, holding out his puffy white glove-encased hands.

Hmm. Maybe I can find a use for these gloves once Halloween's over.

circus freaks

2008-10-19T20:21:00.005-05:00

Logan and I went to a local circus last week. It was pretty darned cool and beat the pants off the high-budget larger shows I've seen.

The morning of the show, we drove out to watch the set-up. This included seeing the elephants get pedicures.

See the guy in the above photo? A few minutes later, he was wielding a shovel as he took care of a task even more unpleasant than filing a pachyderm's toenails.

This gal could certainly climb a pole, and judging from the cut of her outfit (I opted not to post a frontal view), she's probably had a chance to practice her pole antics in venues other than just the circus.

We paid an extra two bucks to sit right alongside the ring and I was a tad nervous when the elephants performed a series of ballerina twirls a few feet from where we sat.

Logan wasn't as impressed with the circus. However, he was captivated by the vendors and their flashing toys and tasty treats. His mom quickly fell out of favor for refusing to buy him any.

Here he is with the ringmaster, still holding a grudge. I didn't score any points by telling him that the graphic on his t-shirt meant he was marked for consumption by the tigers.

notice anything strange?

2008-10-09T13:20:00.003-05:00

Anyone familiar with the quirks of our household might be able to spot something unusual about the photo I took today during Logan's naptime.

Give up?

He's in his own bed for a change. It's the first time he's slept in it.

Ever.

mama's costume, part dos

2008-10-09T13:09:00.009-05:00

I'm almost finished with this costume.

Need a reminder as to why I'm making it?

Because I need the assurance that someday my kid will leave me for dead in the crappiest nursing home around.

It's waaay too big, so I'll either alter it or eat one gooey butter cake per day between now and the 31st.

The first option sounds like too much work, so I'd better go preheat the oven.

Like how I managed to sneak Bud into the picture? Think of it as a fringe benefit - or not. He's been looking extra rough lately.

Any other grown-folk out there dressing up for Halloween or am I the only dork around?

fall photos

2008-10-03T15:15:00.005-05:00

Taken at Pumpkins Galore in Wright City, MO. Enjoy!

happy october

2008-10-02T16:25:00.007-05:00

October is my family's second-favorite month; the cool weather and rich colors make it so irresistible that we make several treks to the park each week.

It's often the last opportunity of the year to spend long stretches of time outdoors. Next month, another harsh winter will likely begin to confine us to the house.

That is, until springtime, our absolute favorite time of year.

mama's costume, part uno

2008-09-28T13:48:00.008-05:00

I'm laying odds that someday my ungrateful child will drop me off at a substandard nursing home without a backward glance.

And golly, do I love me some Halloween. Always have.

So I'm making the best of these two definitives by whipping myself up a costume so that I can actively accompany the boy this year when he trick-or-treats.

If I'm still feeling motivated once I've finished my outfit, I'll make one for Todd, too.

Logan will probably be delighted. But in 10 years when I whip out the pictures, that delight will be replaced by horror and mortification.

As a result, I'll be doing him a favor. He won't feel one bit guilty about taking advantage of the two-for-one special when he parks us at the Heaven Bound Nursing Facility.

This weekend, I finished the first piece of my costume. Can you guess what the finished product's going to be?

Heck, no, I'm not going to model them for you. Actually, I tried, but in the picture, it's hard to tell where the bloomers stop and my white, spindly legs begin.

evening tomfoolery

2008-09-25T09:26:00.004-05:00

Todd was bored last night and decided it was time for some family fun.

No, we didn't play a rousing game of charades or get out the Twister mat.

Instead, he pulled out a dishtowel and wound it up nice and tight. Then, he turned on the kitchen sink and got the tip of it wet.

He was then ready to wage war on the family. Logan got the first pop.

By the way, that wierd-looking plastic thing on the floor next to the toybox is where we put Bud Bird's cage during the day. Bud was asleep in the back room when this tomfoolery took place.

Otherwise, Todd would've popped him, too.

After Logan got a few licks, it was Augie's turn.

Logan tried to run for cover and got a few more.

Time for tug-of-war. Mind you, this is a kitchen towel that I regularly use.

Look at the agility Augie displays as he prepares to maim my towel.

Don't worry; it's in the washing machine now.

new shirt for my main man

2008-09-24T21:16:00.011-05:00

This shirt is hot off the sewing machine. Looks simple but it dealt me a fit. Apparently, knit stretches out of shape when you're not careful.

Don't ask me how I know, and definitely don't look in my trashcan. Otherwise, you're likely to see two other shirts that look eerily similar to this one.

By the way, please ignore the layer of funk on the futon; it's where Tilly sleeps.

And if you're coming to visit and plan to bunk up in our guest room, forget you read that.

apple-pickin'

2008-09-19T20:13:00.005-05:00

We went to Apple Junction in Marthasville today where we picked apples, petted goats and played on a huge outdoor slide.

I swore that today I wouldn't sew at all and instead devote the full day to Logan. I've been a little negligent since getting the new sewing machine.

A couple of days ago, I sewed all day, only taking a break to give him lunch. At naptime, he put himself to bed.

When he woke up, he went back in the living room and continued with his day. In the guest room, I chugged along on the sewing machine.

I started feeling a little guilty when he eventually popped his head in the room and said "Mama, I like your machine," a thinly veiled plea for my attention.

So today, I kept the cover on the sewing machine - at least until naptime.

happy birthday to moi

2008-09-12T19:04:00.006-05:00

Here's the latest addition to our family. I haven't named her yet. Something that rhymes with expensive would probably be fitting.

Even though I bought this with birthday money (thanks, Mom and Dad), I'm still guarding the receipt with my life.

Otherwise, Todd will demand I march it right back to the store so that we can use the money for something a little less frivolous.

Possibilities might include a boat, motorcycle, or maybe a lifetime subscription to Hustler.

that's my boy

2008-08-30T18:57:00.006-05:00

Here's a picture of my son taken this afternoon.

Yes, that's a tribal armband temporary tattoo on his arm.

Yes, he's wearing a wife-beater.

And yes, he's digging in the trashcan.

p.s. There's another one of those tattoos on his other arm. I can't wait to take him to church in the morning.

catching the bus

2008-08-29T20:05:00.006-05:00

This year, Logan gets to ride the bus home from school. Thursday was his first day, and although he was a little bit scared when I dropped him off, he was all smiles when he got home.

I've been really, really resistant to this although I knew it would be something he'd enjoy. Don't ask me why, but I hate for him to ride with others.

Doesn't make a lot of sense; I'm not such a great driver myself, so it's doubtful he's safer just because he's with me.

Anyway, he loved his first bus ride and can't wait to go back Tuesday so he can do it again.

picture day

2008-08-26T21:48:00.003-05:00

Today was picture day at Logan's school. I tried to get a photo before we left this morning but the little stinker wouldn't stand for me to get a shot of his full outfit.

I had to take what I could get, which is a picture of him sitting in the minivan.

time's a-wastin'

2008-08-23T17:00:00.010-05:00

I have a story to write for my side job at the newspaper.

There's a lesson to prepare for tomorrow morning's Sunday School class.

Everyone around here is hungry; the husband, kid and animals. Our refrigerator looks like a ghost town because I need to go shopping.

There are three calls to return from family members that are probably ready to write me off.

And my house is a wreck.

So how am I spending my evening hours? Most productively, I assure you. See for yourself.

My dearly departed Aunt Marie sported this hairstyle in the 50s. She was quite a dish. But on me? I'd have spent most of my Saturday nights at home with my parents watching Leave it to Beaver.

This looks so much like my Grandma Donaghue that it's a little scary. I doubt she had that wayward lock of hair hanging down the side of her face, though.

I never had a hairdo like this, but if it would've been popular in the 80s, you can bet I'd have been sporting it. It looks like it requires lots of time and hairspray, a combo I embraced back then.

Hmm. This doesn't look like such a far cry from my current mom-do.

Oh boy. I don't know about this one.

And this looks like my senior picture. Do you think the bangs look like a waterfall? That was my intent when I had a hairstyle like this. Mom's still scraping the White Rain off the bathroom walls.

And because I haven't sufficiently wasted enough time, here's dear old Dad. I just happened to have a photo nearby that was begging to be scanned and desecrated.

He had this hairstyle in '98. Only difference was that he embellished it with a perm. Actually, his was a bodywave.

and that's a wrap

2008-08-21T10:09:00.003-05:00

Is it just me, or did this summer fly by?

night owl

2008-08-20T12:10:00.006-05:00

I've been burning the midnight oil lately, sometimes staying up three or four hours after Todd goes to bed. I do this so that I can ~~surf the Internet, shop on ebay and play computer games~~ take care of important household responsibilities.

Until recently, Todd would take Logan to bed and they'd fall asleep together, allowing me to ~~goof off~~ complete tasks without interruption.

But in the week and a half since we've been back from Texas, Logan refuses to go down without a fight. He wants to stay up with me and get in on the fun.

His insomnia isn't quite as well-developed as mine, though. So at the end of the night, this is what we have.

The photos were taken on two different nights this week, by the way.

"Bejeweled totally wears me out."

This is SO MUCH more comfortable than my bed.

there's a mouse in the house

2008-08-18T14:13:00.003-05:00

This hood for Logan's Mickey Mouse costume is giving me fits. It's a little closer to being finished, thank goodness.

I just have to put the lining in, which I'll do once I remember to buy the correct amount of fabric. I've made two trips to the store and have yet to come back with enough.

Good thing I started early.

late summer sky

2008-08-17T19:42:00.002-05:00

The moon was just gorgeous Saturday night. Seems like everything gets prettier toward the end of summer.

how's this possible?

2008-08-14T12:37:00.005-05:00

No, your eyes aren't deceiving you. He's drinking a soda and sucking his thumb at the same time.

hello from a not-so-feathered friend

2008-08-13T13:15:00.007-05:00

"Howdy!"

I haven't posted a photo of the flying rat in quite awhile. She's glad we're back from Texas; Logan keeps her fortified with almonds and cashews.

looking ahead to halloween

2008-08-12T20:46:00.010-05:00

I'm making Logan's costume this year, and I'm determined to do a better job than I did two years ago when our family dressed up as a pack of hippies. I still feel guilty about putting that big afro on the kid.

He's going as Mickey Mouse this year ~~that is, if I don't screw up the costume...if that happens, I'm getting out the afro again~~, and here's what we have so far.

The shirt came from Walmart and I made the pants. Now, I have to figure out what to do about the ears and puffy white gloves.

too tired to go to bed

2008-08-09T22:58:00.007-05:00

I do this all the time...stay up late when I should be in bed. Tonight's one of those nights.

I'm too tired to get up from the couch, wash my face, then hit the sack. So instead, I'll stay up and play around on the computer and build up my strength with butter cookies.

We're back from Texas, by the way. The trip home wasn't bad at all.

On the drive, I listened to an Oak Ridge Boys tape for at least 10 hours. It looped all the way through the upper part of Texas, lower Missouri and the entire state of Arkansas.

The Boys were in a closet at Mom's where they'd been sequestered since 1984, just waiting to be rescued.

Aren't you glad you weren't with me? You'd still be whistling "Elvira." And you'd finally know all the words to "Leaving Louisiana in the Broad Daylight."

Here are a couple of shots from the trip. By the way, Carie, I swear I'll get those Disney World pictures up one of these days.

This is outside of my old elementary school. Logan's eye is swollen, as you can probably tell. A mosquito bit him. At least that's what I'll tell CPS.

Logan and Mom inside the planet's best burger joint.

time to head home

2008-08-05T18:51:00.005-05:00

We've had a wonderful two weeks in Texas, but the time has come to head home.

Logan, Aunt Barb and I will hit the road at 8 a.m. tomorrow. We'll drive to Aunt Barb's, spend two nights, then travel the rest of the way Friday. It's about 20 hours, so if you're the praying type, please send one up for us.

heaven on a bun

2008-08-01T08:59:00.003-05:00

Here's what it looked like seconds before I slammed it down my gullet. I'm getting another one (or two) today.

Neen's birthday was a gas

2008-07-28T20:01:00.018-05:00

After another 10 hours in the minivan, we made it to Ingleside. This time, Aunt Barb was with us.

Adult conversation was so much more enjoyable than the looping of "Mickey's Silly Songs" that burned my ears during the first half of the drive.

Neen's 83rd birthday party was a gas, literally. Logan broke out his fart machine, much to the dismay of some of his elders.

He wasted no time demonstrating to Neenie and the other guests the full cadence of farts it produces.

My stepdad, George, later wanted to know where Logan got the device.

I got the impression that he was asking more out of a need to reprimand the responsible party than a desire to obtain a fart machine of his own.

Either way, I'm not saying a word.

donkeying around

2008-07-28T19:54:00.004-05:00

We made it to Omaha, TX on Wednesday, the first stop on our road trip. It took about 10 hours to get to my aunt and uncle's house, and boy, were we whipped.

My Uncle Mike raises donkeys and we spent lots of time with them during our two days there.

Uncle Mike kept telling me that one of the miniatures would easily fit in the back of the minivan on our return trip to Missouri. Think Todd would notice?

water...water...

2008-07-20T14:43:00.020-05:00

Like a thirsty transient who crawls toward a pond, on Wednesday I'll slowly make my way to Texas in Silver the Trusty Minivan with a goal in mind ~~such as not to get robbed, raped, maimed, shot, stabbed or otherwise left for dead along the interstate~~.

Yes, I'm going to see my family, but there's another objective of this trip:

In my carnivorous opinion, these are the best burgers on the planet. The patties are large and drenched in grease, the buns are just the right ratio of soft and crispy, and even the ketchup seems superior to the lowly versions served at other burger joints.

When I lived in the Corpus Christi area, there were many times that I went to Whataburger twice in one day for a fix. And I had the butt and thighs to prove it.

As a kid, the name of the place confused me. I thought it was Water Burger.

One afternoon, my cousin Julia and I were seated at the kitchen table at Neenie and Pa-pa's house. We merrily poured our glasses of water onto some home-cooked hamburgers to create "water burgers."

I imagine Neen took the switch to us when she walked in and saw the mess we had made.

model's wages

2008-07-16T22:44:00.010-05:00

My dear friend Shannon just had a baby boy. I'm making her some bibs as part of her baby gift.

After I finished the first one, I needed a male model. Unfortunately, the only one I could find demanded candy as his payment.

"I not a baby," he said once I got the bib on him.

Doesn't he look thrilled? And he wasn't too impressed with the candy, either. It was left over from Halloween and probably a little stale.

another inexpensive craft

2008-07-16T13:37:00.007-05:00

Cheap is my middle name this week.

Check out these bowls I made from old records - another thrift shop score. They were 20 cents each, and I just put them in the oven on top of an upside-down bowl until they started to melt. The picture's a little blurry because my camera's on the blink.

These will be gifts for some of my Texas relatives. George, that's your Johnny Rodriguez candy bowl on the left.

sewing on the cheap

2008-07-15T09:36:00.014-05:00

I've been sewing a lot lately. Just call me Susie Homemaker.

Check out this skirt that I made with a twin-sized sheet that I picked up for 75 cents at our local thrift shop. I used this tutorial and it took me about 30 minutes.

Try not to get distracted by my fine-looking legs. I didn't do a very good job this morning with my tan-in-a-can.

getting ready for a road trip

2008-07-10T21:32:00.009-05:00

Logan and I are planning a trip to Texas at the end of this month. No sweat; we've done it several times.

Only difference is that this time, we're driving. Alone.

I was full of bravado when I first made these plans. After all, I used to drive home alone from college all the time, accompanied only by a feline companion who slept in the back window most of the way.

That was a seven-hour trip. Sure it wasn't as long of a jaunt, but I was much younger and had less driving experience.

Or so I've been telling myself.

This trip will be 17 hours, nine of which will be on my own. We're going to pick up Aunt Barb in East Texas, and she'll make the rest of the trip with us.

It's that initial stretch between my house and hers that is starting to get me a little worried. But it'll be fine, I'm sure.

By the way, that's not my car in the above photo. I'd never use duct tape to secure an item to the roof of my vehicle. Packing tape is better and much less expensive.

holiday weekend

2008-07-06T22:23:00.003-05:00

We went to my dad's for the 4th of July where we ate barbecue and popped off fireworks. Everyone's limbs are intact and there were no mad dashes to the emergency room, so it was a good time.

Logan liked these smoke bombs but wasn't so wild about the loud ones. He was unimpressed with the "grand finale" Todd and the neighbors staged later with all the leftover fireworks.

funny stuff, yo

2008-07-03T12:43:00.006-05:00

Remember Showbiz Pizza? Ever wonder what happened to the robotic characters who sang and danced on the stage? Apparently, they've got a new gig. Click here to watch. Just don't crank 'dem speakers up too loud if you're at work, homie.

ASPCA, you've got a new client...

2008-07-03T12:29:00.004-05:00

Tilly probably wishes we'd return her to the racetrack. She has to work way too hard around here.

Saying goodbye...or not

2008-07-01T19:05:00.007-05:00

I have a hard time parting with things, especially when they once belonged to family members who have gone on to reap their heavenly rewards.

Just ask my husband. He's been cursing this monstrosity for a couple of years because it takes up his valuable garage space. I don't know what I'll eventually do with it, but it definitely doesn't involve the one-way trip to Goodwill that some less-sentimental souls have suggested.

I wish I could say my collection was just limited to the car, but one look at my basement would blow my cover. It houses a slew of items that I just don't know what to do with.

Here's an example.

I have a bag of musty old fabric that I took about 10 years ago when my grandma died. Grandpa was going to throw it away or donate it or something. Since then, it's been stored in various attics of the places we've lived before coming to rest in the basement of our current home.

Mostly, the bag contains polyester. Grandma was probably going to turn it into some pants.

But there's hope that it might slowly leave my basement in a more dignified manner than the back of the garbage truck. I found a really neat website full of easy crafts and simple instructions.

I've spent the last two days turning the red polyester into these:

I've got at least eight yards of this stuff. So family, like it or not, you'll be getting an eyeglass case. If you don't wear glasses (which I'm pretty sure excludes most Donaghues), you'll have to find another use for it. Might work as a cover for your butcher knife or a tail-warmer for a dog or something.

siblings reunited

2008-06-23T20:40:00.011-05:00

My cousin, Carie, isn't the only one in the family with multiples. Miraculously, another set of Donaghue triplets has just been discovered!

The evidence? Each boasts a telltale mullet haircut too similar for their identical genetic compositions to be denied.

Although two of the culprits have since cleaned up their acts and now have more dignified haircuts, the third one still sports a Missouri Waterfall.

But don't take my word for it. See for yourself. I'm telling you, the writing's on the wall.

Dad, sometime in the mid-1990s. He still swears this wasn't a mullet; maybe all the perm solution fumes he inhaled while enhancing said mudflap with a bodywave clouded his memory. He also attests that the Z Cavaricci jeans he wore during this timeframe were REALLY cool. And don't get me started on those flat-footed pixie prancer wrestling shoes he had. Oh, wait...he still wears those.

Todd, circa 2006 at a Halloween party. I told him it was an event that required a costume but he refused to dress up. He said only rednecks participated in costume parties.

Bud, circa a few days ago. He's/she's still proudly rocking a mudflap cut. No fancy barber for him, either. He does it himself.

child protective services should be here any minute

2008-06-23T09:30:00.003-05:00

I had nothing to do with this. I swear.

Keeping The Whites Pearly

2008-06-21T16:13:00.008-05:00

Tilly got to go to the vet yesterday for a much-needed tooth cleaning. Greyhounds are known for their bad teeth. Apparently, it has to do with a combination of bad genes and the poor diet they receive at the racetrack.

She was 3 when I adopted her through a greyhound rescue agency, and her teeth were already kind of grody then. We've had them cleaned twice before, and she eats lots of crunchy food that should help make them strong. But they've continued to deteriorate.

Poor old girl. She had to get six teeth pulled during yesterday's cleaning and felt miserable when I picked her up. Her mouth bled all through the night. The vet said it was normal for that to happen. She's extraordinarily spry today, though. Probably knows she's going to get the fat off the brisket Mama cooked for dinner.

Augie's breathing a sigh of relief that he didn't have to accompany her to the appointment. But he'll get his turn soon enough. And since he's not required to be on a soft diet for the next week, no brisket fat for him. Okay, maybe just a sliver.

Heck, maybe I should get all of this guy's teeth pulled, too. He's been nipping my hand for almost 16 years. He probably wouldn't mind a few extractions; that would mean he'd get to eat canned food all the time.

Or, I could get this devil de-beaked so she'd quit biting. Now there's an idea. They'd have to sew on some lips, though.

Gettin' The Boy To Sleep

2008-06-21T12:08:00.003-05:00

I've been told I'm fortunate that at age 4, Logan is still fairly willing to take a daily nap. But there's a catch.

He refuses to hit the sheets until he's surrounded by a selection of his toys. And his definition of "toy" is pretty broad - it ranges from hot wheels cars to rocks and pork chop tongs. Once he's arranged them to his satisfaction, he's out like a light.

It's about noon right now, and he's back in the bedroom arranging his nest with today's favorite toys. Hopefully, he doesn't develop an affinity for playing with bugs and lizards anytime soon.

Post-Father's Day Tribute to Dad

2008-06-19T23:20:00.008-05:00

This was Dad's Father's Day gift last year. It's a pencil drawing from a 1977 photo.

That big watermark across the bottom wasn't on the final product, thank goodness.

I'm way behind on getting in some posts. That Disney World trip (photos are on the way) really wiped us out, but I'm slowly tunneling my way back from fantasy land to my ordinary routine.

Anyway, I saw this idea somewhere, liked it, so decided to "borrow" it. In honor of Father's Day, it's a list of some of the things I got from my dad.

Hazel eyes
Allergies
A sense of humor laced with sarcasm
A suspicious nature, especially when dealing with salespeople
Flat feet
Really good handwriting...but he still has me beat.
The ability to hunt down a good deal
An appreciation for things that are done right
A name I could pass on to my son
My delight when devouring a thick, rare steak (preferably one he's made)
A preference for quiet over noise
An ability to get lost in a project and work at it to the best of my ability
A desire not to procrastinate.

Thanks, Dad. I could've done without your toenails, though! Love, Lisa

Bath Time For Tilly

2008-06-03T17:14:00.006-05:00

"I hate this," Tilly says.

Logan helped me give Tilly a bath today. Tilly is our retired grayhound; I got her from a rescue organization when we lived in Virginia. She's the best-behaved dog I've ever been around except when it comes to food.

She'll take anything from anyone and is really quick about it. She once jerked a whole roast off the counter at my dad's house and was making a dash with it in her mouth when we caught her.

We ate it anyway.

Countdown to Disney World

2008-05-29T17:39:00.005-05:00

Logan insisted this temporary tatoo should go on his belly.

Guess he wants to be able to cover it up if he goes on a

job interview.

We're going to Disney World in a few days - 11 to be exact. I have to give Logan a countdown every day because he wants to leave so bad each morning when he wakes up.

"Mickey's waiting," he says.

A couple of nights ago, he brought a suitcase up from the basement and packed it full of his monster trucks, some books and a little bit of loose change.

"I'm taking some money for Mickey," he said.

Mickey's already gotten enough of our money, I replied.

He then insisted that Todd needed to haul the suitcase out to the van. It's been out there ever since.

Bud's sick of being called a "he"

2008-05-29T12:31:00.005-05:00

"Man, not this stupid pet taxi again."

I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that the vet said Bud looked more like a girl than a boy. The only way to tell for sure was through an expensive blood test. I declined it...I'm a Donaghue, after all.

Anyway, Bud's obviously sick of us being so insensitive. On Sunday, the 18-year-old cronie layed an egg for the first time in her life.

Unfortunately, the vet tells me that conures don't just lay one and to expect the second one within about 48 hours. We've exceeded that time limit and Bud obviously has another one on deck (the advantage of having a bald bird is that the protruding belly is pretty obvious). So we're off to another expensive vet appointment for an egg induction.

Poor old gal...she's had to resort to this to get her point across.

A new driver on the streets

2008-05-21T16:21:00.003-05:00

Logan got his car yesterday that Granma ordered him. It was a big hit. He drove it until well past bedtime last night and was ready to roll again at 6:30 a.m. today. His car goes pretty fast; I tried to jog along with it (what a joke) last night and had trouble keeping up. Of course, that probably has just as much to do with my limited amount of athletic ability as it does the speed of the vehicle.

Bird news of the day

2008-05-21T12:06:00.005-05:00

So I took the Bud Bird to the vet yesterday for a checkup. After he tried to bite the vet a few times, she finally got him restrained and looked him over. "What makes you certain he's a boy?" she asked. I replied it was just what I had always been told.

Although it's impossible to be sure without a blood test, she said she's convinced Bud is a girl. He's 18 years old and we've always called him a "he." Sheesh...no wonder he plucks out his feathers.

Big day for Logan

2008-05-20T07:52:00.004-05:00

Today's a big day for Logan. After school, we're going to the Chesterfield Walmart to pick up his red power wheels car that is his reward for potty training. He's lucky to have a granma who loves him very much and ordered it for him.

Here's a picture of him in his "sneaker car." Sneaker car stays in the house so it doesn't track in dirt. Yes, that's his driver's license taped to the front. He has several things taped to this car; I think he inherits that gene from his Papa Baker who had a knack for personalizing his vehicles.

I have a feeling that after he gets the new one, sneaker car will be taking a trip to the basement.

Auto Fest

2008-05-18T12:38:00.005-05:00

Yesterday, we took Logan to Auto Fest in Warrenton. It was $10 per person to get in, an abomination to my cheapskate Donaghue nature. Fortunately, I had free tickets because I was going for the paper; otherwise, there's no way I would have parted with $30 for the three of us to attend.

They had all kinds of moon walks, which I'm told are now referred to as "inflatables." Logan's a sucker for a moon walk, so he had a great time.

Happy Mother's Day!

2008-05-11T16:01:00.007-05:00

Hope you had a great day. We went to church this morning, then took our family friend Dolores out to lunch. The rest of the afternoon has been spent hanging out with my kids...the two-legged one and four-legged ones.

Logan said he'd take a nap if I'd lay on the couch with him.

These two clowns never need convincing that it's naptime.

Finally!

Making progress

2008-05-05T07:01:00.004-05:00

I'm obsessed with rehabilitating this bird, and I think he's making progress. If you look at the photo, you can see some new down feathers on his wing along the line where his regular green feathers meet his pink, bald skin.

So far, I've switched his diet, added supplements to his food and water, and gotten him to eat several different types of fruit. We play with him so much that sometimes he snores at night when I cover his cage. I've even ordered him a CD of bird noises set to music (please don't tell my husband) that is supposed to keep him from getting lonely when he's home alone. And last night, he sat on my shoulder while I baked him some parrot bread.

We're home

2008-04-28T21:16:00.013-05:00

My cousin, Robert, Logan and I got home yesterday from Michigan at about 6 p.m. We were worn out after our quick trip, but Robert and I agreed that it was well worth it. We had a wonderful visit with family there.

Logan was incredibly good the entire time. He loved staying in a hotel, dubbing it the "little house." Francis, our 9o-year-old aunt, said he was the best-behaved kid she'd ever been around.

We took a lot of pictures. The ones below are some of my favorites.

Here's a race car at our cousin Barb's house. Barb and her husband, Vic, have several race cars along with a huge truck that can haul six of them at one time.

This is the truck and trailer. It's massive, as you can see.

(Clockwise from left) Bob, Francis and Robert play a card game while Logan watches. Bob is Francis' son.

After a long afternoon, Logan takes a nap on Barb's couch.

Barb (Francis' daughter) and Francis

Bob and Francis

Logan and me in the "little house"

And just in case you didn't get enough of this guy last time, here he is again. Doesn't it look like he's smiling? No, he didn't go on the trip with us.

Greetings from Michigan!

2008-04-25T21:03:00.006-05:00

It's so nice to have a man handy to tackle all the complicated technical aspects of a hotel stay.

After a long drive, Logan was concerned that our cell phone

didn't have enough juice so he searched for a plug in the hotel room.

We're in Lapeer, Michigan this weekend with Cousin Robert. We drove up to visit our great aunt, Frances, and cousins Barb and Bob. We left early this morning and got here around dinner time. Tomorrow, we have a big day planned at Barb's house where Logan will get to see some race cars and go fishing.

New family member

2008-04-12T19:43:00.003-05:00

This is Buddy, also known as The Bud Bird. As you can probably tell from the photo, we don't have any immediate plans to enroll him in a beauty contest. For the past several years, he's been a hard-core feather plucker and we're going to try and rehabilitate him with lots of attention. He also likes to deliver an occasional bite, so we hope to fix that little inconvenience, too.

Picture of my dogs eating

2008-03-31T21:30:00.004-05:00

It's raining here, so I had to feed the dogs inside. When he saw me coming with their bowl, Logan requested that he, too, be given a serving of dry food. I told him goldfish crackers would have to suffice. Hopefully, he won't take a liking to Ol' Roy anytime soon. Then again, it might cut down on our grocery bill.

Hope your Easter was a gas...

2008-03-24T21:31:00.005-05:00

This is the coveted fart machine, which was brought a day late by the Easter Bunny (darned ebay sellers). Logan's so proud of this gadget that he's got it in the bed next to him tonight. Earlier, he gave Grandma an over-the-phone demonstration of the various toots it produces. Somehow, I doubt he convinced her to rush out and get one for herself.

For my dad, holidays offer a chance for some quality time with his granddogs. And the fun doesn't have to stop there; hospital waiting rooms are ripe with possibilities for family bonding while waiting for the doc to sew up those nasty dog bites. Especially if we bring the fart machine along!

Easter bunny pandemonium

2008-03-15T20:19:00.008-05:00

We went to see the Easter bunny today and I had high hopes that we'd emerge with a photo of Logan sitting on its lap. No such luck.

When we got there, Logan sucked his thumb, whined and shook his head vigorously when I asked him if he wanted to sit with the bunny. Several others picked up on his cue, and before I knew it, kids all around us were wailing.

Finally, I told him the bunny wouldn't bring a fart machine for his Easter basket (yes, that's really what he's getting) if he didn't at least touch its fur so I could take a picture. Here's the end result:

"I'm not getting any closer than this, Mom."

Drink up!

2008-03-06T16:32:00.011-06:00

I have a lot of strange quirks, but I've been told there's one that takes the cake. And it's definitely not carrot cake.

I don't eat any fruits or vegetables. Never have, and at age 35, it's probably safe to assume that I never will.

Each time this comes up in a conversation, people always ask a predictable round of questions. What about strawberries? Don't you at least like oranges? Grapes? How about green beans?

Nope, not a one.

When I was little, my mother took me to the doctor to ask how to resolve this problem. Not to worry; just keep putting the fruits and veggies on her plate and eventually she'll eat them, the doctor said.

Mom said not so long ago that she'd like to find that doctor now and ask him just when she should expect this ability to kick in.

For most of my life, this has bothered my parents a lot more than it has me. But I've paid it a little more mind in recent years and have been intent on finding a solution. After all, cancer probably isn't the most enjoyable way to go. So several months ago after watching an extra-persuasive infomercial, I bought a juicer.

Every morning, I juice up a mixture that's not too pretty but is probably a better option than my old standby of coffee and Chips Ahoy. This drink is definitely an acquired taste; it's made up of spinach, cucumber, celery, parsley, ginger root, apple and lemon. And it looks like...sludge? seaweed? pond scum? I don't know. You be the judge.

Lisa's green drink

Some have asked how I can stand to drink the stuff if I won't eat the ingredients in it. Beats me. I think it's more of a texture issue than anything else.

My juicer is really neat. It shoots the fruit and vegetable pulp into a separate compartment while the juice pours out of a spout. At first, I felt wasteful just throwing that pulp in the trash each time I made a drink - a Donaghue characteristic, I think. Eventually, I came up with another use for it: Dog food additive.

Augie and Tilly's dog food

I can't say my dogs are thrilled at the new ingredients I've incorporated into their meals, but their fur definitely looks better since they've been eating it. Sometimes, I mix in some mac & cheese or leftover meat to get them to polish it off. But it still seems like they give me a dirty look before they dig in.

"Man, not this stuff again," Augie says.

Open wide...

2008-02-27T19:37:00.003-06:00

Logan's armed and dangerous with a dental tool.

Today, we had a not-so-successful first trip to the dentist. Logan was afraid and didn't want to open his mouth. Finally, he let the dentist take a quick peek.

Prior to the visit, we talked extensively about what it would be like and read a book to him about the subject. But he was still scared and agreed to stay in the chair only if he could sit on my lap.

I remember feeling the same way when I made my first trip to the dentist; I guess I was about four. They didn't allow parents back in the treatment room back then, so I screamed and cried as the hygenist pried me away from my mom, hauled me down a hallway and wrestled me into the chair.

The inside of that office was decorated in a cheerful tropical theme, but to me, even the smiling toucans looked scary. After several attempts to calm me down, the frustrated dentist said he'd spank me if I didn't knock it off. That did the trick.

During today's visit with Logan's dentist, I thought about the kinder, more gentle approach we now take to child-rearing. Then, the dentist told me it was time to start flossing his teeth each night.

The dentist told me Logan probably won't cooperate. If he doesn't, I should pin him down with my knees on his arms so he can't flail around. With one hand, I should grab his head and hold it steady. He'll likely be screaming, but that will work to my advantage; I'll then have full access to his teeth, the dentist said.

Sounds like a job for Papa.

Surveying the Loot

2008-02-23T19:54:00.000-06:00

Todd looks like he has Tilly in a headlock as he puts together one of Logan's new toys. He claims he was just hugging her.

Today was Logan's birthday party at The Little Gym, and boy did he have a great time playing with his relatives, not to mention scoring some neat gifts. Thankfully, Todd got cranking with the assembly as soon as we got home and I haven't had to install a single battery or wrestle with a zip-tie.

We've promised Logan a Power Wheels ride-on vehicle once he's fully potty-trained, and it looks like the milestone will coincide with this birthday. That means we'll kill two birds with one stone and incorporate it as his birthday gift as well as his reward.

It's not a cheap conquest; in fact, I used to walk past these vehicles in the store and laugh to myself. How could someone spend nearly $300 on a battery-powered toy when there were perfectly respectable bicycles on the same shelf for 1/8 the cost? I didn't grow up that way, and by golly, neither would my kid. Something with pedals would have to suffice or he could just do without.

I ate my words once he started inching toward age 4 and showed no interest in shucking his diapers. First, I tried to use candy as a reward, but it quickly lost its appeal. Next, it was Hot Wheels cars, but that didn't work, either. Everything I read warned against using punishment as a potty-training tool; experts said it would just backfire and prolong the process. Knowing how strong-willed my son can be, I don't doubt it.

So we dangled the promise of that car like a piece of bait, and he wasted very little time in biting. That's unfortunate for our bank account, but if I don't have to buy any size 7 diapers, or even worse, Depends, you won't hear a single complaint from me.

Birthday Bustle

2008-02-22T07:55:00.000-06:00

This sled belonged to my Bee-paw when he was a little boy.

I can always find things to do when I'm cooped up inside.

Here in Missouri, we're treated to a frequent weather phenomenon known as the "wintery mix." This is the second day in a row that school has been closed because of the ice, so Logan and I are house-bound. That means we have to look for creative ways to entertain ourselves. For Logan, that sometimes means trying to score a trip to the emergency room by sticking foreign objects in his ears(see photo).

We spent yesterday making favors for his birthday party. I thought it would be nifty to put some of his favorite songs on a CD for party guests, then decorate the case with pictures. That turned into an all-day project.

Logan is about to turn 4 and thinks flatulence is the funniest occurrence there is, followed closely by burps. So when he heard a line from one of the songs we'd chosen, "The horn on the bus goes toot, toot, toot," he insisted on a dozen replays so he could sing along and laugh. The CD was a hit with him; I think the other kids will like it, too.

Todd and I were talking the other day about the difference between kids' parties now compared with when we were young. In the 70s, the neighborhood kids and some cousins came over, you ate cake, opened presents, then played for awhile.

With today's parties, the planning starts months in advance. First, you choose a venue; will it be a party at home or will you fork out some dough to have it elsewhere? What will the theme be? Safari? Outer-space? And how will you incorporate the party favors into said theme? It's right up my type-A alley.